Cutest Blog

Monday, March 31, 2008

My friend

My friend me to keep on blogging my life. She thinks it will be of help to someone else. If what I go through could help even one other person besides me it will be a life well spent.

My first issue at the moment is dealing with the public school about ds5. He refuses to do any of the work presented to him. He sits in class picking his fingers. (His form of calming himself down.) He picks his fingers until they are raw. I put liquid bandage on them to keep them from getting infected. He hit another student and a teacher last week. We got his 3 weeks progress report home, it was all I (incomplete). His teacher can't grade him because he refuses to do any of the work. We all know he is very intelligent. To quote his speech teacher, "He can read anything put in front of him." He can add and subtract, and along with the rest of the class, is learning the facts by memorization. The only place where he could even begin to have difficulty is in science and social studies which we have no way of knowing what he is getting and what is being misunderstood. They don't send home a lot of that kind of homework so I rarely know what they are learning in this area. Oh, yeah, He cannot tell stories without some sort of pictures or promptings. That would be an area of trouble. That is a part of the autism disability.

My second issue I have been struggling with for the last year and a half. I started trying to potty train ds6 not last September, but the September before that and have yet to be successful with a bm. I am blessed that I can still put him in pullups because the messy underwear is really annoying. I have given up with underwear at home. He does great at school, but no bms there. He waits till he gets home. We have been working with ds5 on the same issue since not last Christmas but the Christmas before. He had to go through a lot of desensitization to bathroom sounds and running water. We had a great success last week. He started going to the restroom on his own at school. WoHoo!!!! Once again, he waits till he gets home before bms occur and to get that in the toilet I have to literally be looking at his face at the exact moment that he can no longer hold it. We have had 18 successes in the last year and a half. We talk about it a lot and I work really hard at it but....To have two having these issues is really really hard! I am changing 4 messy underwear/diapers every evening. It frustrating beyond reasoning. Sometimes I think it would be easier to believe they were incapable of learning this. They are not, they are just resistant. On top of that ds5 still has a lot of trouble with urinating in the toilet. He fights us tooth and nail about half the time. It is easy to tell when he needs to go, he starts running around and jumping up and down. You can hear his potty dance from all over the house. The problem is when we are all too tired to take care of it. i.e. 4 am, or 11 pm. Plus, ds6 doesn't show any signs of needing to go. If he doesn't go on his own, which sometimes he does, he will just spread his legs and go. My house is one big toilet!!! I put up with this when I potty trained my older boys, but it only took at the most a month or two. A year and a half is a really long time to be potty training these two. I have potty trained 4 other boys and know how to do it. I just can't seem to figure out these two with their special needs. I cannot figure out what will make it worth their while.

My third issue has to do with my ds1. He is in college. His grades are not up to what we told him we would accept to pay his way. I hate the idea of cutting him off, but he obviously is not putting the time and energy in the school that is needed. I suspect he is spending to much time playing an online game. He has never been that great at managing his time. We are also trying to get all the paperwork completed so that he can go on a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. This is our religion. He has had more health issues in the last year then he has had his entire life. It has been an interesting year for him. We have discovered he has an irregular heartbeat, which after discovering our insurance didn't cover him in another state, we figured out how to get him to a cardiologist. It is benign. Phew! That was about five months of background stress. He finally was able to have his wisdom teeth pulled, but that did not heal properly. Because we had his teeth pulled over Christmas break, he had to find another oral surgeon to fix that. We are blessed that his grandmother and aunt live about thirty minutes away and could help him with all the arrangements. I suspect he has high function PDD as well as my younger boys. He seems very dependant for this kind of stuff. I tried to teach him how to take care of doctor's appointments on his own before he left home, but after he would visit a doctor or dentist he could never convey to me what they said so I would still know what was going on. There are some other things that I know about now that I did not know about when he was a baby that make me wonder. Anyway, as the end of the spring semester approaches, dh gets more and more uptight with this son. The tension in our house grows.

I have to go take ds5 to occupational therapy now. I hope he will be cooperative in going. I don't want to spend the next half hour in the car with a screaming kid.